I know that sometimes it’s a rush serving your domme and you want to pay your respects with obedient words and actions, but do remember that pleasing your dominant also means respecting our situation as a sex worker.

The following is going to sound pretty harsh, but it needs to be. If you want to be the best submissive boy ever, then you need to know explicitly how not to suck. 

• If you are sending tribute through payment providers that aren’t explicitly adult, don’t leave us love notes addressed to Mistress, Goddess, etc, and don’t sign them with slave, maggot, puppy, etc. You’ll get our accounts banned. (Amazon may be the only exception to this) When I receive tributes like this, I immediately contact the company and tell them I think I got someone else’s gift.
• Respect time zones! Through the magic of the internet, we can connect on a digital level around the globe. This also means that email you desperately want answered might come in hour 2 of an 8 hour sleep so don’t send 5 more followup emails wondering why she hasn’t answered.
• Get a grip if you feel the need to dox us. My real last name is none of your business, doesn’t enhance your experience, and you might not be very good at it. Recently, I was doxxed to a degree. A person did enough digging and assuming to scare the fuck out of a relative of mine because he thought she was me. I also have nieces and nephews and if some fuck invades that space, I’ll hunt him with my Glock.
• Keep your negative opinions of other dommes to yourself when making contact. It makes you look like a jerk and believe me, many of us know each other. It will not ingratiate you into our lives, but only serve to make us distrust you. 
• Lighten the fuck up. I know that for many the fantasy is a 24/7 domme image of leather and dominance, but let’s face it…sometimes we’re on the couch in a messy ponytail snuggling a dog watching reruns of Parks & Rec. Don’t question our dominance because we’re human and have moments of vanilla life (oh the horror!) We’re all submissive to something. For me, it’s the IRS, HOA, and my little lady pup that I serve obediently on the daily. She’s truly terrifying…

If you read through all this and feel like you just read a foreign language of behavior, then congratulations! You probably don’t suck. 

If you read through this and suddenly feel angry and offended, it’s OK. Just do better.